"Are you safe?"

That is one of the first questions I learned that you need to ask when answering the crisis hot line. My second day of training yesterday, I learned all about the shelters, crisis intervention, communication and listening skills. Training really is very interesting. I would definitely recommend it to everyone, it is a great way to become more aware about domestic violence that occurs in all of our communities, so that we can try and stop it. The more educated you are, the better decisions you make.

The Battered Women's Shelter provides the following services: counseling (one on one talking, not professional), support (necessities; food, water, clothing, shelter), planning (education, careers), listening, safety (legal advice about protection orders), case management, youth advocacy and in-house support groups.

The first step in obtaining help from the B.W.S. is Crisis Intervention. Crisis Intervention starts out with a staff member or volunteer talking with a victim of domestic violence trying to identify the crisis or problem. Next resources are given to the victim so that they can seek other help if needed. A good website that is often referred to clients is http://211summit.org/. This website contains a great number of resources that may be helpful to clients. Emotional support is a big thing that the B.W.S. offers to all the victims that come in for help. The staff and volunteers are educated on domestic violence and realize how courageous these women are for seeking help. Another huge issue that is dealt with is the safety of the clients. The locations of all the shelters are kept confidential as are the clients who reside in them. It is the most dangerous time for a victim when she/he leaves their batterer.

Communication is very important in trying to help the victims of domestic violence. When a victim is communicating with a staff/volunteer they have a message that they are trying to get across, therefore they are the encoder. As the victim is talking to the staff/volunteer they are trying to decode what the victim is saying to understand the message. Then the staff/volunteer reply with their feedback. It's actually a tricky process and when you're trying to decode what someone has just said you tend to tune out what else they're saying. When you're communicating with someone they notice most, your body language(55%), then your tone(38%) and finally your content( only 7%). Communication is inescapable, irreversible, complicated and contextual.

Listening is also extremely important. Sometimes the reason why a victim calls the hot line or comes in for help is so that someone will listen to them. Some good listening skills are eye contact, affirming with nods and feedback, giving your full undivided attention, paraphrasing what they said, avoiding emotional involvement and asking open ended questions. Do not doodle, interrupt, ask yes or no questions and don't try to fix their problems. Hearing and listening are not the same thing. You should be giving empathetic listening, not sympathetic listening. Sympathy is feeling what someone else feels through you. Empathy is feeling what someone else feels through them.

The photograph was taken from www.inclusive-solutions.com.